Taking the Bumpers Off Childhood

No swearing. No violent toys. No sleepovers. No mature topics. These are just some of the common rules that a lot of Millennial parents have in their households. It’s not that we’re overly strict. For many of us, we’re simply keen on preserving what’s left of childhood innocence in the digital age. Kids will inevitably learn about a word or a topic on YouTube (hopefully not YouTube 🙏, but likely), and be exposed to online porn 🙈. Preventing or at least delaying that, to some extent, gives parents peace of mind.

But this wasn’t the case when we were growing up.

A Less Innocent Analog Time

For better or worse, parents in the ‘90s were more relaxed when it came to censoring aspects of “real life.” They didn’t have to worry about their kids getting bullied on Instagram, or learning about something they shouldn’t on ChatGPT. There wasn’t a fear of young boys being radicalized by the alt-right on YouTube.

So it wasn’t unusual to overhear dads swearing at Monday Night Football on TV, or telling a crude joke to uncles after a few drinks at Thanksgiving. Moms in the ‘90s regularly gossiped to friends about the latest local cold case, without worrying how that might affect little ears. Everyone knew the names Jaycee Dugard and Michael Dunahee, and parents relied on these kidnapping cases to scare their own kids straight about wandering off in public – or at least my mom did.

There was less concern over kids playing with “violent” toys, too. Every kid tormented their younger siblings and cousins with Nerf Guns, and Super Soakers went hand-in-hand with Slip N Slides. Everyone knows that slap bracelets were used for slapping body parts beyond wrists, and the creative misuse of Skip-Its on school playgrounds basically risked decapitation, or at the very least, severe bruising from the hard plastic ball.

Were ‘90s Parents Just a Bunch of Hypocrites?

Shortly after our first child was born, I told my husband, “We have to stop swearing.” While I knew it would be at least a year before he would start parroting these “bad” words, I figured we’d get a head start on watching what came out of our mouths. And now that he’s a toddler, we’ll reserve certain conversations, including ones about disturbing news stories, for after the kids go to bed. He and his brother have all their teen- and adulthoods to hear about violent crimes and nightmare fuel.

We do, however, try to answer questions about complex topics as honestly as possible, with age in mind. I’m also adamant that we use the proper names for genitalia rather than the ambiguous term “private parts” that was popular in the ‘90s. How often were we told, “You’ll understand when you’re older” instead of just given an explanation for something when we asked as kids? And even though many of us heard the adults around us swearing like sailors, cussing as a ‘90s kid got you soap-in-the-mouth level punishment. It was truly a time of “Do as I say, not as I do.”

So where does that leave us? Maybe we can relax just a little when it comes to dropping F-bombs. Playing with a Nerf Gun is probably also harmless. I’m not keen on our house sounding and looking like Pulp Fiction, but the occasional swearing and flying foam bullet won’t ruin our kids. Plus, swearing is a sign of intelligence!