Welcome to the Age of Screen Anxiety

How many minutes of screen time does your toddler get every day? Ask any millennial mom, and she probably knows the answer – and feels bad about it if it isn’t zero.

Thanks to the proliferation of smartphones, tablets and computers alongside TVs, the amount of research that’s gone into the effect of screens on kids has exploded over the last decade. And while screens can provide some educational benefits, the consequences seem overwhelming negative (childhood obesity, behavioral issues, and sleep problems, to name a few).

Maybe that’s why parents generally lie when asked. “How much screen time does your kid get?” might just be the new “How many glasses of wine do you have in a week?”

Before the Scroll: Screens in the ’90s

But is 30 minutes of Peppa really that bad for you though? According to my mom, my preschool years included a steady diet of Sesame Street, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, and Yan Can Cook (my mom was really into cooking shows). I had some friends who were practically babysat by the Ghostwriter crew and learned geography from Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? (shout out, Rockapella!)

In high school, most of us were glued to our family’s sole computer, either hoping that our crush would log onto MSN Messenger or waiting for TLC’s “No Scrubs” to download on Napster – and all of that could be disrupted by your family’s unreliable dial up.

Do As We Say, Not As We Scroll

So where does that leave us? We’re now adults who are slightly addicted to screens trying to raise kids without the use of them, or at least iPads. We subscribe to Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime Video and more for favourite movies and shows, but we’re considering buying an old VHS or DVD player so our kids can rent movies from the library (and not be subject to the endless overwhelming scroll to find something to watch).

Screens are everywhere, whether we like it or not – at restaurants, the dentist office, stores, and even in schools. What’s the point of hiding in the bathroom from my kids so I can get a 30 second dopamine hit from opening Instagram, if other parents are staring at screens at the playground?

It’s all about balance then and trying our best to model the behaviour we hope to see. Get that VHS player for home, but also charge your iPad if you’re taking a flight – no matter how short – with kids. Try to keep your phone off the dinner table, but don’t feel guilty if you rely on an episode of Bluey to get dinner on the table. We will continue to try for less screen time and more outside time, and should definitely spend less of our energy stressing about it.